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The Airing of Grievances: LOST

February 19, 2009

What I know about LOST:

  • While hunting, Locke finds a hatch.
  • Some crazy bitch tries to kill Locke because her brother died.
  • Locke is pretty shady, but cool with me.
  • There is time travel.
  • The island disappears and seems to be controlled by The Wizard.
  • Desmond almost goes crazy via time travel, but figures shit out.
  • Someone got raped.
  • Batmanuel.

What I don’t know about LOST:

  • How everyone got on the island.
  • How some people got off.
  • Why those people want to go back.
  • What the government has to do with it.
  • How a wheel moved AN ENTIRE ISLAND.

What I know about real life:

  • Islands don’t move.
  • People don’t travel through time.
  • No bitch is that loyal.
  • Body hair does not suspend itself in time.
  • Batmanuel.
  • I haven’t had a TV in two years.
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